Friday, April 12, 2013
Abide with Me- Women Writers on Grief
One of the original 49 tips was to be spiritual, however you define that term. Having read Elizabeth Strout's Abide with Me, I have to say that I found a quote or two that expressed what I felt when I first wrote that tip over 3 years ago. Here they are; The first gives us permission to grieve, and to realize that sometimes, there simply is no closure. I understand that. I grieve still for my Uncle George, killed at 30 in an accident, 40 years ago this June. For so many others, too, for Janet, my 14 Year old friend, who survived so much, do die in a car crash. For my mother, I'll never stop. I wait everyday for something to change, to come home to find her waiting for me. And I know, that as long as I live, I'll never see her again. She lives in memory with me, always. I wasn't always a good daughter, and we didn't have the smoothest relationship, but she loved, truly loved me. I was like her in many ways, and I look like her, and that is a compliment to myself. I sound like her, ail like her, enjoy much of what she did. Yet, she was unique, and brave, and smart, really smart. Everyday, she is with me, but just out of reach. Read below what Strout says; it sums it up-- "Anyone who has ever grieved knows that grieving carries with it a tremendous wear and tear to the body itself, never mind the soul. Loss is an assault; a certain exhustion,as astrong as the pull of hte moon on the tides, needs to be allocated for eventually" (283). I got sick the week she died; I had bronchitis off and on, and other things, through July of that year. My athritic hands developed over that time, and I have full blown asthma. Like she did. There is something to this. And: "Do you imagine that the scientist and the poet ar enot united? Do you assume you can answer the question of who we are and why we are here by rational thought alone? It is your job, your honor, your birthright, to bear the burden of this mystery." I'll fix my typos later.